Movies to Look Forward to in 2012

Looking back at my previous list for 2011, I somehow feel bad. I don’t think there’s a single movie on that list that lived up to my expectations. Sucker Punch should have been so full of awesome but ended up so…utterly forgettable. The Hangover 2 was just a sad rehash, and I came very very close to considering Cowboys and Aliens a bad movie. The best of those, for me, was probably The Adjustment Bureau – it had a nifty little idea, even if not too original, and a great cast, and I do think Emily Blunt and Matt Damon had some chemistry between them. Still, it was largely ignored at the box office, so it does count as a failure. Hopefully, this year, things will be better.

Chronicle

Still from Chronicle movieHigh school friends and superpowers stuck with me from the description, and for some time I didn’t even want to see the trailer. But I soon did, and this has the potential to be one memorable movie, or at least reach some sort of cult status. It both helps the movie and has me worried that most of the people involved are rather inexperienced, but I look forward to what looks like a fresh take on an old idea. The parts that sold me? Seeing teenage boys act irresponsibly and the creepy kid going all Darth Vader on a car in the scrap yard. Or maybe it was the Jessie J in the trailer…

Coriolanus

Ralph Fiennes in CoriolanusI’ll admit that, while I do enjoy Shakespeare’s work, I’ve always been more of a fan of his comedies than the tragedies (Titus Andronicus though could give any modern torture porn horror flick a run for its money). I will also admit that Ralph Fiennes is a god among actors. Add to that some Gerry Butler, Brian Cox, Vanessa Redgrave and the soon to be ubiquitous Jessica Chastain, and you have potential. Though I don’t trust Fiennes as much in the director’s seat, the modern take on an old classic looked good in the trailer, and, as a plus, they kept to the text, not dumbing the dialog down for the modern audiences.

Safe House

Denzel Washington in Safe HouseOK, this might be a safe bet on my part, but I am a fan of Ryan Reynolds, and, though he did well by himself in a box, I’d rather see him going toe to toe with Denzel Washington. I don’t expect the accomplished cast (Gleeson, Shepard, Farmiga) to bring their A game to an action thriller, but I do expect some fireworks. Denzel has never been uncomfortable doing action, even though mostly under Tony Scott, and Ryan Reynolds needs an action movie that works under his belt, since Green Lantern wasn’t the hit he probably thought it would be, so I expect him to pull no punches. If the script is half as clever as the cast, this will be worth watching.

This Means War

Chris Pine, Tom Hardy and Reese Witherspoon in This Means WarI have a feeling that this will most likely end up as a guilty pleasure. Sure, it’s kind of a romantic comedy, and it has Reese Witherspoon, but it also has Chris Pine and Bane Tom Hardy in fisticuffs. From the trailer it looks that it’s going to require a lot of suspension of disbelief, but I think if there’s any one director that can pull off silly over the top action, that’s McG (it also helps that it does not have a small budget). It’s Spy vs Spy with an unwanted romantic angle thrown in, but this looks like THE perfect movie to take your girlfriend, a movie from which both of you can walk away happy.

John Carter

Taylor Kitsch in John CarterI’m side-stepping the really big blockbusters (The Avengers, The Dark Knight Rises, The Amazing Spider-Man, The Hobbit) but I need to mention this. The trailers look good, and this is Taylor Kitsch’s year (Battleship however sounds dismal, despite being helmed by Peter Berg). The budget is huge (250 million according to IMDb page) and the studios hope to start a franchise. The biggest draw? Andrew “Wall-E” Stanton. After Brad Bird is time for another Pixar vet to move to (kind of) live action. If there is one person that can pull this off, that’s Stanton.

Salmon Fishing in the Yemen

Ewan McGregor in Salmon Fishing in the YemenI like both Emily Blunt and Ewan McGregor. I also like most of Lasse Hallström’s movies. So, even if a movie about fly-fishing in the desert sounds…ahem…fishy, I’m willing to give this one a chance. I was charmed by Chocolat, why shouldn’t this work? By the trailer it looks very much like the feel good movie of the year (Lionsgate should have a hit on their hands as long as they promote it accordingly). Oh, it’s also written by Simon Beaufoy, the guy behind another feel-good movie – Slumdog Millionaire.

Snow White and the Huntsman

Charlize Theron in Snow White and the HuntsmanThis one was a tough call. I was willing to go with Tarsem Singh’s Mirror Mirror, but something stopped me. It was probably Charlize Theron bathing in milk… Having Twilight’s Bella and Thor on screen might help, but I’m betting this will be Charlize’s movie from start to finish. Finally, an actress that’s both gorgeous (way more than this film’s Snow White) and has the acting chops to pull off an amazing Evil Queen. As a bonus, the dwarves are played by awesome British actors such as Eddie Marsan and Toby Jones. If this one doesn’t rake in the big bucks, all the fault rests with the directors and scriptwriters.

The Cabin in the Woods

Poster for The Cabin in the Woods movieA twist on the usual horror movies involving the titular “character”, this one sounds too smart to live up to expectations. Though written by Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard (not as famous, but to his credit he did write for Lost among others), there is a big chance it won’t side step some cliches. Even so, I’ll happily watch Whedon regulars such as Fran Kranz and Amy Acker join Thor (Chris Hemsworth strikes again!) on the big screen.

Prometheus

Still from Prometheus movieIf there’s one prequel I believe in, this is it. Ridley Scott returns to Sci-Fi with a movie that, as teased by the trailer, revisits some of the more mysterious aspects of the first Alien movie. The special effects in the trailer looked really good, and it helps a lot that the movie has an A list cast: Michael Fassbender, Charlize Theron, Guy Pearce, Idris Elba, Noomi Rapace, Patrick Wilson. With Damon Lindelof of Lost fame behind the script, the only thing to worry about is retconning, but let’s hope that’s not the case.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

Poster for Abraham Lincoln: Vampire HunterBased on a rather recent book (2010) and with a cast of familiar, but not really famous, faces, the movie seems like mediocre fare, cashing in on the vampire fad a tad late. What has me really excited though, is that Timur Bekmambetov (director of the awesomely Russian Night Watch and Day Watch) is directing. With Wanted he proved that he can transition to Hollywood without too much effort, and handle an A list cast. Seeing as though he produced plenty of movies that sounded more interesting than this one on paper, I’m truly interested to see why he chose this one as his next project.

Total Recall

Colin Farrell in Total RecallThe original is a classic Sci-Fi action movie from when Schwarzenegger was in his prime, that will forever remain in the minds of every man that has seen it (mostly due to the three boobed lady). The new movie is directed by Len Wiseman, so I expected a much more stylized action movie than Verhoeven’s, but maybe slightly less intelligent. Colin Farrell is no Arnold, but he’s a decent actor and, after seeing him in Fright Night, I believe he can pull through. Also, eye candy in the form of Jessica Biel and Kate Beckinsale, as well as welcome performances by Bryan Cranston and Bill Nighy.

Hotel Transylvania

Character from Hotel TransylvaniaThis animation might be very overshadowed by Pixar’s Brave, but I’ll still look forward to it. And it won’t be because of the premise – Dracula operating a high end resort, or the cast – Adam Sandler, Steve Buscemi, Fran Drescher, a lot of other funny guys, but because of one person only: Genndy Tartakovsky . The man behind Dexter’s Laboratory, Samurai Jack and Star Wars: Clone Wars (no, not the new one). If he was able to give me fond memories of those shows during my childhood, I will surely watch his movie.

Looper

Looper movie posterThere’s a title for you. “A killer who works for the mob of the future recognizes one of his targets as his future self.”. That’s the IMDb description. It may sound high concept, and it probably will be, since this is Rian Johnson of Brick fame. Teaming up with Joseph Gordon-Levitt once again, with a touch of Bruce Willis Emily Blunt and Paul Dano, this might turn out to be quite interesting. Also, surprisingly enough, it’s not an adaptation of a Philip K. Dick short story.

Les Miserables

So there was a stage musical based on Victor Hugo’s novel, and it was successful. Since the movie industry is no longer afraid of musicals since roughly 10 years ago, it decided to make a film out of it. The best part was that they selected The King’s Speech Oscar winning director to helm it. The second best part is that it stars Hugh Jackman, Russell Crowe, Helena Bonham Carter, Sacha Baron Cohen (oh, look! a Sweeney Todd reunion) and Anne Hathaway. And they still haven’t cast Cosette…

Oh, Those Trailers!

‘Tis the season…to be watching trailers. A bunch of previews for big upcoming (sooner or later) movies dropped recently. And once again results (and reactions) were mixed. Probably the biggest story was the trailer for the Hobbit – it’s one of the most anticipated movies, and yet the trailer felt lacking. It probably didn’t help that it felt like it was cut by someone that ran out of ideas halfway through and decided to mix the good parts with some that didn’t belong. But, all in all, it was still alright: hobbits, dwarves and a certain wizard showing up had something to do with it, but mostly it was the Howard Shore score feeling just right.

Some time ago, I found myself watching the trailer for Dream House. At first, it felt promising. Rachel Weisz, Daniel Craig, Naomi Watts, Rachel Weisz, Jim Sheridan (one 50 Cent movie doesn’t erase all those Oscar nominations), Rachel Weisz…But the trailer did something unfathomable: it gave away a big twist. Not the twist at the end, but, in my opinion, the most important one. A twist that, when going to see the movie knowing it, somehow lessens the experience (imagine knowing who Keyser Soze is at the start of The Usual Suspects). And that has been a plague on trailers from times immemorial. It’s probably most noticeable for a slew of comedies – you see all the memorable, worthwhile jokes in the trailer, the rest of the movie is just a shell. And, in a twisted executive’s mind, that sees everything through the lens of “immediate returns”, that’s a good thing. Having the best parts in the trailer piques the moviegoer’s interest. And first weekend receipts matter…

But, it doesn’t have to be this way, there are countless others that succeeded in garnering interest and word of mouth without giving away much (something almost giving away nothing). Case in point: The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo initial trailer. You know the one: loud cover of classic rock song, bits and pieces of the movie only glanced, Muppets parody… The best part of that trailer? It felt like it showed you everything, but at such a pace that nothing was clear, nothing stuck, except maybe for the faces of the protagonists. And it worked.

One other such example is the recent The Dark Knight Rises trailer. It has a lot of content, but no context. So you can’t really say it gave anything away. It showed the villains, the heroes, the background characters, bits of the biggest action set pieces, and more. It was basically saying: “Hey, this is the same team behind the previous movies, we know you have high expectations of us, and this is our way of showing you there’s no reason to panic!”. The one thing I didn’t like was that I felt there was no emotion. It felt cold, but then again, Nolan (even though I don’t think he made the trailer) is a more a director for the rational, than the emotional. It did not leave me with that “OMG! I can’t wait to see this!” feeling (though if I were forced to see a single movie next year, TDKR would still be it).

Heart (and story) was what was lacking from the Wrath of the Titans trailer as well. Though I am not surprised. That one is but action set piece after action set piece (though he tried for something different with The Debt, I’m afraid Sam Worthington will only wind up as one of this generation’s action men). I wonder if it’s odd putting The Expendables 2 trailer in the same category of the emotionless. The trailer for the first one showed you exactly what to expect. And the new trailer did the same: action stars doing action. But it somehow feels wrong since it does pull one string: nostalgia. Having Schwarzenegger, Stallone, Willis, Norris, Van Damme & Co. together on screen is something of a fantasy for many older action fans that grew up with “I’ll be back!”, mindless Vietnamese slaughter, wisecracking cops, bearded martial artists and ballet kickboxing.

There were plenty other trailers, that more or less made me wish I’d have a time machine. Jack the Giant Killer seems cool (might be an actual comeback for Bryan Singer), Salmon Fishing in the Yemen seems to be next year’s feel good movie (and shows us it’ll be one of those years Ewan McGregor is in everything, not that I’m complaining), Beneath the Darkness has a dark Dennis Quaid, that seems to enjoy playing the bad guy, Rock of Ages will probably not live up to the hype (also, Tom Cruise megalomania alert!), The Dictator seems more like Ali G than Borat (I’m very afraid it’s Sascha Baron Cohen’s The Love Guru) and the next G.I. Joe actually looks a lot better than the first (though I’m afraid people won’t show up to see it).

My personal pick as best of the recent trailers to hit? The very new Prometheus trailer. Ridley Scott, back to Sci Fi. The new star in Hollywood, Michael Fassbender, Guy Pearce (always a pleasure seeing him), the talented and gorgeous Charlize Theron (has she done anything remotely Sci Fi after Aeon Flux?), the original Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and Idris Elba too. That being said, we don’t get to glimpse that much from the trailer. But it looks great and there are plenty of references to the first Alien movie for those willing to spot them, though we don’t really see any of “the” aliens.

Oscar Predictions

Oscar statuetteTonight is the night of the 83rd Academy Awards. Over the past month people have been crunching numbers, taking wild guesses and trying to predict the always shifting Oscar favorites. Hours prior to the event, I decide to lay out my predictions, as well as some short thoughts on the most important categories of the evening.

Best Picture

There seems to be a general consensus that The King’s Speech will take home the trophy, and I’m inclined to agree. While usually this goes hand in hand with the Directing award, this year I’m thinking we’ll see one of those few exceptions that happen once in a while. The only true contender would be The Social Network, and, even though I find it to be a superior, if less engaging, movie, I doubt the Academy has changed so much overnight to ignore a movie like Tom Hooper’s that seems just tailored for the Oscars.

Directing

The nominees of the Directing award are a strong bunch this year. From Aronofsky to the Coen brothers, all of them have their merits. Still, David Fincher is more than likely to take home the award, save for an actual sweep of the Oscars by The King’s Speech, which happens quite rarely. Fincher has been nominated in the past and has quite the resume behind, most of which has been underrated over the years, so I expect him to take home the statuette without too much emotion.

Writing (Adapted Screenplay)

It’s hard to come up with a real contender to The Social Network for this one. It had great dialog and it told a story that had substance way beyond its facade of pseudo – biographical facts. Though True Grit and, most of all, Winter’s Bone did a wonderful job adapting their scripts from the original material, Aaron Sorkin pretty much has this one in the bag.

Writing (Original Screenplay)

This one will probably end up being the most disputed category of the evening…on the Internet. While I doubt that many of the Academy voters dislike Inception, I doubt they would pick it as the winner, even though there are legions on the web saying how it is one of the most original and intellectual scripts of the past years (and I somewhat agree with it, though I’m with the Academy on this one). While The Kids Are All Right and The Fighter were great acting vehicles, I expect The King’s Speech to nab this one too.

Actor in a Leading Role

This one is Colin Firth‘s. I could argue that it’s a game between 2 actors that already won an acting award, and recently, Jeff Bridges and Javier Bardem, so they’re out of the picture, 2 breakthrough performances by young actors who previously were mostly on the action or comedy side, James Franco and Jesse Eisenberg, and a veteran actor who pulled out an outstanding and subtle performance, that managed to captivate audiences, but why bother?

Actor in a Supporting Role

The field is pretty strong, and, if you were to ask me to pick a clear favorite, I’d be in a bit of a pickle, because I though every single one of these had something special. But, I do expect Christian Bale to take home the award, with yet another of his extreme physical transformation, which he had never shied away from (think The Machinist). The biggest surprise might not be that Bale takes this one, but that his first(because I’m sure he’ll pull it off again in the future) Oscar comes for a supporting role, rather than a lead.

Actress in a Leading Role

It seems to be pretty clear that Natalie Portman will take the statuette on this one. I’d feel very sorry if, by some surprise, she didn’t. The only true contender would be Annette Bening, and, though she did a great job, I would have seen her nominated in the supporting role category(if anything, The Kids Are All Right was an ensemble piece, did not exactly rest on one actor’s shoulder, and if I’m correct, Julianne Moore probably has more screentime in this one). Portman, as a former child star, and pretty big name for some time now, has the best shot of winning, as the Academy member will see this one as a talented actress reaching maturity.

Side note: If I were to pick my favorite, it would be Jennifer Lawrence’s performance in Winter’s Bone.

Actress in a Supporting Role

Regardless of the other nominees, this is more of a duel than anything else, between Melissa Leo and Hailee Steinfeld. A duel between a veteran actress and a young one. Though they both deserve to win, expect Melissa Leo to take the award, since she has been around for a while, and nominated before, and the Academy likes to reward returning customers rather than new ones.

So there it is, the top picks for the night. I also expect Toy Story 3 to win the Animated Feature Film award, as does everyone else and Roger Deakins to win for Cinematography – it would be outrageous if he didn’t, he’s done outstanding work for True Grit, and for countless other before it, not to mention he’s had 9 nominations with no win so far.

Side Dishes for the Oscar Best Picture Nominees

2010 might not have been as great a year for movies like, let’s say 2007, which brought us the likes of No Country for Old Men, There Will Be Blood, Atonement, Juno, and so on, but it was a solid year nonetheless, as this year’s Academy Awards nominees for Best Picture proves. Looking over the 10 nominees, I somehow realized there are other good or, at least, interesting movies from last year that can accompany their more acclaimed peers. So I give you the best side dishes of 2010 for the main course comprised of the Best Picture contenders(WARNING: Contains occasional spoilers!).

127 Hours – Buried

James Franco in 127 HoursJames Franco was incredible in his literal one man show (if we’re to ignore some pretty girls – Kate Mara and Amber Tamblyn – in the opening act) in 127 Hours. Here is an extremely practical man, left alone with his inner demons to ponder a mistake he’s made. He talks to his parents through the camera he still has, he talks to himself, and, in spectacularly simplistic final moment, to God, but it’s always a one sided conversation. Ryan Reynolds in BuriedRyan Reynolds, in Buried, is confined not by his own mistake, but by a mishap. In many ways, he is the opposite of Franco’s character – not practical in nature, but forced to act in such a manner. Of course, unlike Franco, he has one advantage – a cell phone. In many ways, though he’s in a much tighter spot than the mountain climber, he’s less confined by his trap. Where 127 Hours is a about a man whose only salvation is himself, and the hard decision he needs to make, Buried is about someone whose only salvation lies with others, someone who is just a witness to other people’s decisions.

Black Swan – Splice

Natalie Portman in Black SwanIn Black Swan, Darren Arronofsky occasionally flirts with the kind of body horror that made David Cronenberg an icon. Unlike the psychological thriller starring a ballerina, Splice is much more literal in its imagery. While one has a young woman turn into a swan, the other has a creature turn into a young woman (and something else later on). Still from SpliceTo say this is the two movies’ only connection would be to overlook their similar sexual themes. Natalie Portman plays a young repressed young woman, that is just starting to discover and explore her sexuality, much in the way the child like Dren (played by Delphine Chanéac) goes through what seems to be puberty and all the confusion it entails.

The Fighter – The Other Guys

Mark Wahlberg in The FighterUnlike the rest of this list, these two movies, don’t really feature a similar theme, unless you’re willing to do a parallel between The Fighter’s two brothers and The Other Guys’ cop partners. Both movies share a Mark Wahlberg in need of affirmation, dealing with the drawback that is his closest friend, and in the end, both movies realize that might not be the case. Still from The Other GuysBut, the real reason these two go well together is to showcase Wahlberg’s (maybe he’ll win an Oscar in the future, but he’ll still be Marky Mark) range: from a nice guy(that also gets in the ring and throws a few punches) trying to cope with his nutty family, to a lunatic(that also likes to make fun of people by learning the exact thing he’s mocking) who’s trying to cope with his nutty partner.

Inception – Shutter Island

Leonardo DiCaprio in InceptionOne deals with multiple dream levels and how ideas form in the human mind. The other dabbles in the human psyche and how reality forms in the human mind. Leonardo DiCaprio in Shutter IslandBoth feature a man unwilling to accept what others are trying to impose on him, and both deal with pseudo realities fashioned from someone’s psyche. Both have, at their center, a tormented man haunted by a past tragedy involving his wife. and, in both cases, that tormented leading man is played by Leonardo DiCaprio, surrounded by a great supporting cast under the helm of a great director.

The Kids Are All Right – Death at a Funeral

Still from The Kids Are All RightUnlike the Oscar nominee’s title would like you to think, both movies are more about family than kids. The Annette Bening – Julianne Moore vehicle shows an unconventional(I wonder if that is still the case) lesbian marriage has the same problems a normal marriage has, and the kids are always the ones that get caught in the middle. Still from Death at a FuneralThe Neil Labute directed remake of a brilliant British comedy from 2007 actually focuses on an almost as unconventional family, one that has to deal with the consequences of the family’s patriarch’s secret life after his death. Both are bittersweet stories about, most of all, unity, and the importance of having a family, regardless of its faults.

The King’s Speech – The American

Still from The King's SpeechOne is an uplifting period piece about royalty and the other a slow thriller about an assassin. Despite this, both films focus on the main character’s reluctance to follow the role that’s been set for them. Colin Firth’s character does not want to be king, and hides behind his stammer. Still from The AmericanGeorge Clooney has grown tired of his life as a killer and hides from his employers in Italy. Both encounter someone to guide them and give them the confidence to do what is right. For the future king George VI that man is a speech therapist, while for the “American”, it is a priest.

The Social Network – Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

Still from The Social NetworkI have heard a lot of comments about “The Facebook Movie” being representative for a generation. Other than the fact it is a semi-fictional biography of Facebook’s creator, I find no reason to regard it as such. Facebook itself, yes, it is very much The Thing of this generation, its history, less so. Still from Scott Pilgrim vs. The WorldOn the other hand, Edgar Wright’s comic book inspired, video game themed comedy/teen romance filled with a slew of star cameos, is exactly a product of this day and age though I’ll admit David Fincher’s film is a superior product. One uses its sharp dialog to shape characters, the other one delivers amazing visuals to detract from its one dimensional characters.

Toy Story 3 – Despicable Me

Still from Toy Story 3There is no doubt Toy Story 3 was the best animated movie of the year, and, more so, deserves its spot on the Academy Awards’ Best Picture list of nominees. It delivered an emotional punch in a very neat package. Still from Despicable MeOn the other hand, Despicable Me managed to do what a lot of studios producing animated movies have been trying to do for a long time: emulate Pixar’s knack for tugging at the heart strings while delivering an entertaining movie. It may not have been the heartwarming story of Andy leaving behind(but not forgetting) his childhood, but the tale of the eccentric villain whose ways are changed by a trio of orphans was a step in the right direction.

True Grit – Winter’s Bone (or the other way around)

Still from True GritThis final one is a bit of a cheat, but as much as I tried, I could not find a better fit for these other than each other. Both focus on a young girl’s hunt for a man, be him her father’s murderer or the deadbeat father himself. Jennifer Lawrence in Winter's BoneBoth girls are more mature than their age, mostly due to a bleak world in which the films take place, one where they were forced to grow up faster than they should have. The trek takes them through a sometimes desolate countries and has them meeting a palette of interesting characters that are an inch away from caricatures but somehow avoid it.

Horror Movies By the Numbers

Source:Online CollegesOnline Schools - Horror Movies

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Box Office

Source: Online Schools
Online Schools - Harry Potter

Horror Movies – Ruining Vacations Since 1896

Le Manoir du diableIf you’re wondering, 1896 is the year a short movie by Georges Méliès came out. It had ghosts, witches, skeletons and Mephistopheles and was called Le Manoir du diable. It’s location: a medieval castle. However you look at it, most horror movies just serve to teach you one thing: never leave home, or rather, never get stuck in an unfamiliar place. Of course, the rest of them claim your own house is probably just as dangerous.

Exhibit A – Camp

Jason VoorheesFriday the 13th. I don’t think there’s more to be said, there have been 12 (yes, just one short of 13, which means we’re sure to see another one – Friday the 13th the 13th) of these. Not all of them may have been set on a camp but everything started with a camp, some drugged up camp counselors and a vengeful mother. Oh, and this faceless gorilla that likes to slash people showed up a little later. Safe to say, you do not want to go near any camp after seeing Mr. Voorhees do his own brand of teen counseling. If that does not convince you to stay away from camps, Sleepaway Camp might do the trick, severed heads, beehives, drownings, confused girls(hint: it’s a boy) with big knives and all.

Exhibit B – The Beach

Great WhiteThe beach, that awesome place for parties, surfing and bikini clad ladies (or, if you’re a woman: lads with gleaming six packs). What danger could there be in the soothing blue water under the smiling sun? Where do I begin? You’ve got Great Whites (not everybody can be Roy Scheider, some must be Quint), genetically engineered sharks that don’t like Samuel L. Jackson speeches, deep-sea worms (Deep rising), giant octopi(Tentacles) like bone marrow, piranhas that will eat you within minutes and so, so much more. So, unless you like going to the beach and not getting wet, this one is not that inviting.

Exhibit C – The Woods

Mutant HillbilliesNothing like a camping trip in the middle of a forest with family or friends. Except that you’re likely to encounter hillbillies or mutant hillbillies, or some creature that hates you as much as it hates those hillbillies. If you like getting molested by rednecks in front of your friends or family(Deliverance, Wrong Turn), stick men and cracking sounds (The Blair Witch Project), creatures with really disfigured, but still probably delicious pumpkin heads or headless horsemen, then you should definitely check out the woods.

Exhibit D – Caves

The Descent CrawlerSo you’re one of those people who like big adventures and tiny crawl spaces? You enthusiastic spelunker you, don’t you know that caves are a place of terror, full of weird creatures that adapted to life underwater (The Cave) who especially like biologists or humanoid creatures that react to sound and women(The Descent)? You could argue the whole claustrophobic scenario is terrifying enough, but you’re the adventuring type, aren’t you?

Exhibit E – Motels

The Shining BloodFinding a good place for a romantic getaway, a quick rest on the road or some time off can be pretty challenging. After all, some places haunt John Cusack (1408) with Samuel L. Jackson hallucinations, some hotels are just all play and no work (The Shining) and drive you axe wielding mad, some are run by a Psycho that likes to dress up like mother(also, knives), some by people who love to film themselves some torture(Vacancy). Also, that vacation home you own? Not safe. Psychopaths are drawn to these like moths to a flame (The Last House on the Left, The Strangers).

Exhibit F – Foreign Locations

Hostel sceneNow, if you have the money for a trip beyond the borders, there are special treats for you. London (and later Paris apparently) is the home of werewolves. East European countries like to kidnap foreigners and offer them for torture to high paying sadists(Hostel), South Americans go for a more classical human trafficking ring (And Soon the Darkness) or organ extraction for the black market (Turistas). Going to some islands, be careful who you team up with, lest ye be killed and your identity stolen (A Perfect Getaway). The jungle is never a good idea, seeing as though there’s plenty of evil places(The Ruins).

Now, don’t you feel better you don’t have the time or money to go somewhere else? Isn’t your home a great place to relax and wait for the criminal’s call inquiring whether you like horror movies(Scream)?